"As he bumped the car up the drive he deplored with sudden impatience the inescapable and impossible demands that his children make upon a man. It would have been more comfortable to have remained a bachelor and wallowed along in the agreeable state of self-deception that had been his before marriage. Fatherhood revealed one's inadequacies in an appalling manner..."
- The Heart of the Family, Elizabeth Goudge
"Patience...is really a matter of faith in the providence of God. If we can accept in our heart that this unpleasant moment is a vehicle of God's concern, then we will be less angry and depressed and more able to avoid inner rebellion. Instead of blaming those around us for negative experiences, we need to develop a robust faith in providence, alive to the action of God in our daily life. If we are blind to this action, we will reject the value of our concrete circumstances. Instead of growing through difficulties, we will want to run away. The perception that God is in this situation and we are called to find him here and now is a very great gift of grace.
This trust in providence has another advantage: it enables us to seize every opportunity. It is something energizing. If we believe God is acting in our lives, we will be more inclined to take testing times seriously....The key to patience is faith."
- Sister Mary David Totah, O.S.B. From Magnificat, June 2926
I sat at my sewing table a few minutes ago and there before me was a beautiful sunset, all pink and gold. I have no idea how to photograph such a thing; I've tried. All I could do was watch. These sort of moments are like being in an Elizabeth Goudge story.
I wore my daffodil dress yesterday in the heat. Since I like this simple style so much, I decided that maybe I should focus on making several, and perfecting the fit as I go. So I had ordered three lengths of quilting cottons on sale. This was the first. Quilting fabric isn't created equal - the daffodil one was classic, with that body that's good in an a-line dress. After I was finished with it, I realized that I didn't like the shoulders, so I took a tuck on either side to bring in the edge.
It did the trick. I have narrow shoulders, but sometimes I like the slightly oversized look at the top. Not this time, but the tucks made it better. The second fabric is a black and dark blue batik. Batik fabric tends to be thinner, and I wasn't sure it was suited for the same silhouette, so I angled the pattern pieces out, to make it more a-line, and fuller, and I also brought in the center of the bodice a half inch, so I wouldn't have to make any tucks, if you get what I mean; just a different way of bringing the shoulders in toward the center. I think this was a good idea; I've put it on and it's looking promising. So tonight I was sewing some binding around the neckline when the sunset appeared out my window. The third fabric is a burgundy red. I washed it today, and it still feels silky - I'm not sure I want to make it in this same a-line shape. I have to think. But with present temps in the seventies, I won't be needing these that soon.
After five or so days in the nineties, with increasing humidity, the seventies are so welcome! Of course, we'll have humid days, but for today, the winds are strong, the sun was warm, and tonight it's going to be fifty two. Let the cool air blow - we have quilts. Speaking of warming things, lately when I make a cup of tea, I don't finish it, so today I used a smaller cup and finished the whole thing.
Not as small as a china teacup, but smaller than an average mug. Like Goldilocks.
I washed another window today; I can see that I need to give up the notion of spring or fall cleaning, and just do it as I can. But anyway, I found out that a small paintbrush is good for getting into the window tracks - and it is! What an idea!
I'm thrilled.
"Nature is no mere gathering of atoms but rather the outward form of God's imagination."
- Sarah Clarkson, Reclaiming Quiet
We are hoping for a break in the humidity - they're talking of thunderstorms.
"What grieves us most, O Lord, is playing without joy your beautiful music, you who move us from day to day. We grieve at being always at the practice phase and our efforts are labored and lacking in grace. We grieve that people see us as heavily burdened, serious and clumsy. We grieve at being unable to display in our corner of the world, in the midst of our toil and our fatigue, the ease of eternity."
- Madeleine Delbrel
"It was because Damerosehay did not change that in this chaotic, tumbling, terrifying world it was a place of such comfort."
- from Elizabeth Goudge's The Herb of Grace (1948)
Last week I'd felt the urge to re-read The Bird in the Tree, and now I'm reading this one, the second in the set of three. When I came upon the above sentence, I realized that is why I read certain novels again and again. It's non-fiction that I tend to pick up "new". It seems to me that if a book speaks strongly or deeply to you, there is a reason for it, and it's up to you to pursue that. Get out of it everything you are supposed to, although that makes it sound so much like use, when it's really like a drinking more and more deeply of something nourishing. Hopefully, anyway.
The liturgical year turns and today we are in the feast of Corpus Christi. Our church sits right at a busy intersection, and when it's not raining we go outside after mass and process around the property, stopping at four altars set up along the way. Often it's hot out, and I find it hard to stand in the bright sun but today we are having a really strong wind (which is delightful, I think!) and partly cloudy conditions which kept things comfortable. But as for proper June temperatures - we just don't have them. It should be in the seventies, and it's not, nor is it going to be, according to the forecasts. But I realize I'm often complaining about the weather over here. (sorry)
I made a simple dinner of chicken thighs, marinated in plenty of lemon juice, olive oil, smoked paptrika, garlic, salt and pepper, and baked at a high temp till done. Which took longer than the recipe said, but I don't like slimy chicken. But it was easy, after not falling asleep until two, and getting home from church much later than usual.
After seeing the rabbits often, lately I don't see them at all and I wonder if they've had babies. But there was one in my garden the other day, in one of the beds I'm not using at the moment, eating some weedy stuff. The garden is anything but neat, but if the creatures like it, perhaps it's not a weed
"But Sally did not want to be set free for anything, for it was living itself that she enjoyed. She liked lighting a real fire of logs and fir-cones and toasting bread on an old-fashioned toaster. And she liked the lovely curve of an old staircase and the fun of running up and down it. ... It's my stupid brain, she said to herself. I like the leisurely things, and taking my time about them."
"It was the glorified beauty of the familiar and habitable earth that she saw now, the trees and flowers and creatures that made up the sweetness of it, but soon she would see more. She would see the spirits of those she loved going about the purposes of God bathed in the light of His perpetual compassion...
one world inter-penetrates another; we live in them both, but... the language of the lesser is the language of dreams and birdsong, sunshine and the kindliness of man"
- Elizabeth Goudge, The Bird in the Tree
