worth not the same as usefulness

"Although the desire to be useful can be a sign of mental and spiritual health in our goal-oriented society, it can also become the source of a paralyzing lack of self-esteem....When we start being too impressed by the results of our work, we slowly come to the erroneous conviction that life is one large scoreboard where someone is listing the points to measure our worth....In solitude we become aware that our worth is not the same as our usefulness....When you are able to create a lonely place in the middle of your actions and concerns, your successes and failures slowly can lose some of their power over you. For then your love for this world can merge with a compassionate understanding of its illusions."

                              Henri Nouwen,  Out of Solitude 

something on the floor, and something on the ground

I was cleaning the hall closet the other day - there's been a little latex-backed rug in there for ages, and it was getting crumbly - I threw it out. But I wanted something on the floor - what with the vacuum and ironing board, it could get scratched, so I made up a floor cloth with some red checked duck from the stash. It was easy and quick, and I like the way it looks.

{happy}

I had to use a flash in this dark space.

 I looked out the window during the night to see a whitish looking sky - I thought it must be fog. When I got up this morning, I saw this -

{funny}

 White stuff all on the ground!  It's gone now. But, what was it???? (it was pretty, though)  :D

{real}

It's really Lent.

Joining Leila again this week for {pretty, happy, funny, real}.

Dolly cleans up

the rest of the spaghetti sauce, that is.

Ash Wednesday yarnalong

I'm still working on the squares for the baby blanket - I've done four; three pink and a cream.

I just finished Madam, Will You Talk?, another of Mary Stewart's thrillers. I so enjoy them every once in a few months. This is one I hadn't read before, and very exciting. Her books just suck me in, and I think a lot of it has to do with the level of descriptiveness; she had an amazing ability for that.

I'm still with The Devil's Right Hand, but now that it's Lent, I'm veering a little toward books which will help me along during the season.  Working in a library is funny - I buy books which appeal to me, and then find a spot for them on my shelf. And there they sit, because books at work grab my attention first. And anyway, if I own something, I can read it any time, right?  I won't be at the library forever!  (although I've been there 25 years already)

Well, Lent is a time to clear out stuff which is hanging around - spiritually and otherwise, so I'm going to be working on my bookcase, among other things.

I found the Miracles of John Paul II.   Which aren't really "yarns". But I'll be yarning along with them, anyway.

The Flower Song duet

Listening to some classical radio this morning, I found out it was the birth anniversary of Leo Delibes, born 1836.  I know nothing about him, except that he wrote an opera called Lakme, and there is a most beautiful duet in it, known as the Flower Song.

Here it is.

primitive-style stuffed cat

I saw one in a book and had to try my hand at it, made with some cotton from an old blouse.

I stitched around the edges by hand, as you can see by the unevenness. That's okay - maybe I'll make a few more. As if we don't have enough cats around here already.

at the end of the hallway

with the crocheted bag I finished (ages ago), my mother's suitcase, and the button and circle quilt which will take almost forever because I'm usually knitting instead.

Dolly eyes my salad

but I know darn well she wouldn't eat it.

old-fashioned bowl and pitcher

Don't you love those pitcher and bowl sets that you see in period films which take place before the era of running water?  I do.

I have a co-worker who, when she re-does a room in her house, will bring in all sorts of decor in case one of us might like it. Which is where I got this.

It sits on my bookcase, and looks very well there.

"the eyes of an animal"

"The eyes of an animal have the capacity of a great language. 
I sometimes look into the eyes of a house cat. 

Undeniably, this cat began its glance by asking me with a glance that was ignited by the breath of my glance, 'Can it be that you mean me? ...Do I concern you? ...What is that?'

There the glance of the animal, the language of anxiety, had risen hugely - and set almost at once.

Just now the It-world had surrounded the animal and me, then the You-world radiated from the ground for the length of one glance, and now its light has died back into the It-world."


                                   -      Martin Buber,   I and Thou

a cold return

Yesterday the blackbirds came back - for a while they were all over the place.

I haven't seen them come or go in years - I guess they've been passing through while I was out.

I don't exactly remember when they've come back before, but it seems kind of early to me - yesterday it was very cold; around 20 when I took these pictures.

I don't know where they go for the winter, but here, it's been very mild almost all season. Would that make them come back early, if indeed they are back earlier than usual? But how would they know?  It just seems coincidental that it's far milder than normal, and (I think) they're back sooner than usual. And they had to pick one of our few cold days to arrive!

I hope they know what they're doing.

something new in the living room; something missing in the mail

I bought this from Anna a few months ago - it was already pieced, and layered with a corduroy backing and cotton flannel in between, and pinned all over. She advertised it as a possible baby blanket; I knew it would look good in the living room.

I only had to bind the edges, but it was hanging around - till now!

{happy}

It does look very nice on the back of the couch, just as I thought.

On the {real} front, I learned a long-overdue lesson today.  For the past few years, I've ignored my checking account - I don't balance it; I don't even open the statements when they come in the mail. It just doesn't seem as vital to me as keeping up with the housework. Of course, I subtract my checks as I write them, but....  math, I was never good in.

I don't even look at the totals on the deposit receipts!  Until one day recently I happened to notice that the total was way over what I thought I had in there.  I decided I'd better start doing online banking, just to more easily keep track of things. That was last week. 

Yesterday, I received a note from the town, saying we were delinquent on our property taxes. I wrote that check in mid-December!  It must have gotten lost in the mail!  But if I'd been looking at my accounts, I would have seen it and wouldn't have had to pay a fifty dollar penalty!  So. It isn't my fault it was lost in the mail, but as for the rest, as Mr. Bennett said, "It was my own doing, and I ought to feel it"!  And, I do. 

Pitiful, isn't it?

  I bet Leila never did anything like that.

a baby blanket and a murder

I've had my eye on this cute baby blanket for a couple of years, I think.  I recently got some chunky yarn reduced at a local yarn store which was closing. I decided to make it!

I've got three squares done. If you're a member at Lion Brand, you can see the pattern, called the Country Cousins Baby Blanket. It calls for five squares of one color, four of another. I don't have enough to do it their way, but I can get four from the pink, and four from some cream.  I also have a skein of white and one of off-white. I'll figure out what I want to do as I go along. I may make some stripey squares.

The pattern calls for Homespun - a yarn I really don't like, although it does give it a nice appearance. How well it would hold up after a few washings I can't guess.  I used that yarn once and it separated while knitting - I don't trust it. Not to mention the curliness of it, which gives a nice effect, but you can't even tell what kind of stitch you've been doing!

Well, enough complaining!  I'm using Plymouth Encore Chunky, which is one quarter wool. We'll see how it turns out.

My reading choice is hardly something which juxtaposes very well with a baby blanket -

The Colt family story is kind of local history, and I am acquainted with the author. Otherwise, I'm not sure I'd have the stomach to read this gory tale. His Nathan Hale book was far more to my taste - history, I love!

Thanks to Ginny and her yarnalong.

two hundred

Charles Dickens was born two hundred years ago today  -

something impossible to ignore.

A Happy Birthday to him.  And God bless us, every one.

a hymn

Put now your trust in God,
In duty's path go on;
Walk in His strength with faith and hope,
So shall your work be done.

Commit your ways to Him,
Your works into His hands,
And rest on His unchanging word,
Who heaven and earth commands.

Give to the winds your fears;
Hope, and be undismayed:
God hears your sighs and counts your tears;
God shall lift up your head.

   -  from Magnificat,   February 2012

I swear...

...I love an original simile, but they're not so common.   I picked up an old Country Living from 20 plus years ago; there's a story in it by a Mary Coleman, beginning with a day which "dawned mild as a spinster's oath...".

Probably couldn't be written today, could it?

February Saturday

Saturday is such a long day, and I'm always looking for a way to re-think my routine, such as it is, so that I can get things done while still feeling like a human being at the end of the day.

 silk tulips are cheery

I managed to clean and freshen up the living room, make dinner ahead of time and bake some blondies for tomorrow's dessert,

and, (by the grace of God) still have some time for knitting!  And, a little reading.

sunbathing

post holiday season {p,h,f,r}

Dolly captured contentment today by perching near the Holy Family. She's the right color, but the proportions are kinda {funny}.

I captured it by stewing a chicken, which smelled wonderful all through the house, while I tended to other things. Aromatherapy - a {happy} thing.  Also, I went to visit my neighbor, who told me she loved the lemon cake. Her niece had two pieces, and she doesn't really care for lemon.  Everybody {happy}!

My poor daffodils are pushing their way up, unaware that it's {real}ly still winter.

With thanks to Leila and Rosie.

{pretty}

Dolly catches the 5-day forecast

casing the joint

A smallish hawk landed in one of our backyard trees yesterday.

He was pretty, but my brother chased an unsuspecting squirrel out of his way. Let him work a little harder to find food.

That reminds me of a story. Way back in the late 1980s, we got a book in at the library called Merlin, by Norma Lorre Goodrich. It was a scholarly work about the legendary mentor of King Arthur, and I always loved the Arthurian stories. Her conclusions were that he was a Christian bishop or something, and all the legends just rose up and became embellished over the centuries. She wrote one about Arthur too - I gobbled them both up (but they were very dry, I have to say).

Anyway, I remember it was winter. I was immersed in this book, dry as it was. Looked out one day (it was a Sunday - I remember!) and there was a small hawk on top of the bird feeder. He sat there about an hour. At that time, I was beginning to get an interest in indentifying birds, and I grabbed our field guide for birds.

It was a merlin.  A merlin!  I felt like he had come to visit me while I was reading about him! Such a funny coincidence. He hung around for a week or so, sitting on a short stockade fence on the side of the house; right outside my bedroom window, in fact.

One of those odd things that happen sometimes.

"sponge" cake recipe

This is for Carmen - she wanted the cake recipe from yesterday's post.

Lemon and Walnut Tea Bread
1/2 c. butter or margarine, room temp.
1/2 c. sugar
2 eggs, separated
zest of 2 lemons
2 T. lemon juice
scant 2 c. flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 c. milk
1/2 c. walnuts, chopped
1/4 tsp. salt

Grease and flour a 9x5 loaf pan. Set oven to 350.
Cream butter and sugar till light and fluffy. Add egg yolks and combine well. Stir in lemon zest and juice. Set aside.
In another bowl, mix flour and b. powder well. Fold into butter mixture alternately with the milk. *
In another bowl, beat egg whites with the salt till stiff, then gently fold into the batter. Put into pan and bake 45 - 50 minutes.  (I would check it after 40 mins.)

* I used the mixer to add the dry ingredients and milk - didn't notice I was supposed to fold it in! Now, I'll have to keep doing it the same way.

The lemon sauce I used was this:  heat up 1/4 c. superfine sugar, the juice of 3 lemons and 5 T. water till all is dissolved.  (although it seemed a lot to me, and I used maybe half of it.

a lemon cake for Millie

My elderly neighbor had a birthday coming up, and she asked me if I'd make her one of those little quick breads with the lemon glaze poured over while they're still warm.  I said, "sure!", but when I went to get my recipe, it wasn't there.

I'd never actually made the recipe, but had tasted it, and then asked the baker if I could have it. This was at least twenty years ago. It was delicious, but I suppose I must have cleaned out my recipe box from things I'd never made.
So, I looked through a few cookbooks, and found two hopefuls - one for the cake, one for the lemon sauce for the top.

They were in 1000 Great Recipes, by Martha Day. It's an English cookbook - you can tell those by the "funny" temperatures and measurements - but it also has the American equivalents; a very sensible arrangement!
I made the Lemon and Walnut Tea Bread. Left out the walnuts, and put less lemon in, because I think these cakes are supposed to get their lemonyness from the icings. The sauce was from another cake recipe on a different page - it seemed good to me, so I went with it!

When I took it out of the oven (you're looking for another disaster story here, aren't you?  Nope.), I heated up the sugar, lemon and water, then poured it over the cake, after poking holes all over with a toothpick.

This recipe is a keeper, let me tell you. Sponge cake is what came to mind when I tasted it. It only has two eggs, but they were separated, with whipped-up whites folded in at the end, and I guess that's what does it.  I can picture this cake - with or without lemon flavoring - in two eight-inch layers, with jam between, just like Victoria Sponge!  

As for the lemon sauce, it made everything very tasty and lemony. But it wasn't the usual sugary, lemony icing you find on these cakes which gives almost a sugary crust. I'll have to look for the proper thing online. 

But it was good, and Millie was glad to have it.

And I was glad to do it.

cat atop a laptop

Yesterday I was looking at the other blogs participating in Leila's weekly posting, but somebody suddenly came up and got in my way

She stayed quite a while

Why?

 Because it's there.

bread, snow and Jane Austen

{happy}

I was happy to find a good rye bread recipe for the machine, from The Complete Book of Bread & Bread Machines, by Christine Ingram and Jennie Shapter.  I know I'll keep trying new recipes, but I'm glad to have this one. 

We had a snowfall on Saturday, and I have to say, it was PERFECT, if you have to have snow. We only got about three inches, but quite enough to transform everything into beauty and freshness. And, because it was so cold - in the teens - it was light as dust (well, almost), and could be disposed of very easily!  What could be better?  This winter is perfect so far, and a real blessing against last year's terrors.  I hope it may continue!

my boots, mittens and 180s after a very easy little sweep outside  

{happy}

I was also very happy to find a bread slicer. I've been struggling to slice my bread and making a mess of it. Isn't this pretty?  And it folds up neatly afterwards.  

{happy} and {pretty}

{funny}    I've been reading Mansfield Park - I'm nearing the end. Fanny has gone home to visit after many years away, and is dismayed by the lack of order in the household and lack of discipline among the inhabitants.
Jane Austen's very dry wit gave me a laugh this morning -

""Betsey too, a spoilt child, trained up to think the alphabet her greatest enemy..."   


Apparently Mary Russell  Mitford once said that she could almost cut off one of her hands if it would enable her to write like Jane Austen with the other.


           Thanks to Leila & Rosie.

hoping...he were the husband of some other woman"

"Henry Crawford came and sat some time with them; and...her heart was softened for a while towards him - because he really seemed to feel. - Quite unlike his usual self, he scarcely said any thing. He was evidently oppressed, and Fanny must grieve for him, though hoping she might never see him again till he were the husband of some other woman."

                      -  Mansfield Park,   Jane Austen

Henry plays

with his catnip fishie, crocheted by the gracious Beth.

more birdware from Cyndi

Cyndi, the bird-lover, has given me a lovely little bird-decorated plate and bowl - I'm getting quite a collection of bird things from her -

I had tomato soup in that bowl the other day, and homemade rye bread on the plate!  It looked very well, I must say.