darkness and light

 Well, the split in my thumb is healed, and I stitched up the opening on the chair cushion. It was awkward using the curved needle, but not painful! It was not digging into my finger!

As I said, I had barely enough to cover it, but it's attached now, and I will figure out a patch to go over that area. This is on the back part of the cushion, so it won't be glaringly obvious.

It was so dark and dreary today, the cats slept most of it - it actually snowed, which would normally mean nothing in mid-March after the winter we've had, except that two days ago it was up near eighty; it was sunny, and everyone's spirits were lifted by it. Yesterday was also nice, but here we are back again. However, there is greening going on outside -

Yes, it's coming. 

in morning sun, from a different day

"Saint John of the Cross says our souls are like windows. Divine light is always there, beating on the panes, but often the panes are dirty so that the light cannot penetrate. Our task is very simple - not always easy, mind you, but basically simple! We do not have to make the sun shine. We do not have to create our own suns. All we have to do is let the sun in, and we do this by cleaning our windows. When they are free from every stain, the pure light pours in. We become like the Mother of God, who 'has this one work to do / Let all God's glory through' (Gerard Manley Hopkins).

Then the window - which is still there - is all one with the light, and in its own way has become light and light-giving. What is needed is great generosity, selflessness, trust, and patience.

True holiness - and remind yourself of this over and over again - has to do with very ordinary things: courage, self-denial, love for others, truthfulness, kindness, contentment with what God sends, dutifulness.... In short, all that matters, anytime, anywhere, is a strong, resolute cleaving to God."

                                                              -  Sister Mary David Totah, O.S.B.

becoming renewed

 The paths my brother plowed for the rabbits are getting wider, the grass in them is more visible. Water was running into the drains at the supermarket parking lot. It's been a little warmer. There will be more snow tomorrow, but I actually hung something out on the line today! It was very pleasant.

Breathe deep and be renewed by every breath,
Kinned to the keen east wind and cleansing air,
As though the blue itself were blowing through you.

- Malcolm Guite*

I bought some lamb and made Scotch broth today, and I had a very-belated revelation. I always buy the shoulder chops because that what I'm familiar with, and they're cheaper than other cuts. I bought two packages, and by the time I'd cut out all the bones and fat, what was left was a smaller amount than the pile of fat and bones. Is that economical? I had looked at the loin chop package, and noticed it seemed less fatty.  l will have to try that next time. I'm making lots of soups this Lent, and am using every good recipe I've got. It's just the thing for this time of year.

*from The Word in the Wilderness

it could have been worse

 At ten or eleven last night, visibility was low and snow was falling hard, but no wind. This morning the wind picked up, but the snow wasn't falling as vigorously. So, the heavy snowfall and the windy-ness didn't seem to happen at the same time. Is this a blizzard? I have seen worse, but I'm grateful it's past us and we didn't lose power.

I was reluctant to use the washer, in case we lost electricity while it was going; I was reluctant to cook any lengthy meals, in case things went black in the middle of it. So I rolled out a pie crust and baked it, then made a quiche later when things calmed down. The cats were very interested in the views outside. There is about a foot of it out there, including the four or so inches we began with. It really could have been much worse.

my brother in the street, to get a photo

turning aside

 The snow started around or right after seven thirty; it isn't a blizzard yet, but they're saying it's going to be. Right now it's just falling steadily but gently. We threw out some carrots, in case the rabbits came around before the snow, but they didn't.

However, I later realized the storm door was unlocked, and when I locked it, there was one at the head of the driveway, looking for sunflower seeds beneath the snow. There are plenty there. I watched him several minutes, when he suddenly zigzagged into the neighbor's yard, and there he sat, near a pile of brush near the shed. Meanwhile another appeared on the side of the forsythia and just quietly sat for five minutes until he, too, came to look for seed. Then we noticed a third near the feeder where the carrots are, so maybe they will get some after all. Because we will get at least a foot of heavy snow, at times with very low visibility and I have no idea how they manage or what they do in snowstorms.

But there had been a hawk outside a few days ago, so I'm glad to see all three of them, still our little neighbors. But, what do they do? What do squirrels do in blizzards, when the wind gusts to forty five miles per hour? Can they stay in the trees?

Now, they've all converged under the bird feeder, while the snow is only an inch or so deep. Fill up, little friends, because it may be a long while before your next meal!

While I was watching them, I thought of the poem by R.S. Thomas, which was the Lenten meditation for today in Malcolm Guite's The Word in the Wilderness:

"Life is not hurrying on to a receding future,
nor hankering after an imagined past.
It is the turning aside like Moses to the miracle of the lit bush."

Because I was standing there for a while; they weren't moving, so I didn't move, because I wanted to understand how they live.

But anyway, about the storm - we have plenty to eat, things to do and books to read. The town offices are already closed for tomorrow - my coworkers will have a day off.

I hope it won't be too bad.

The Bright Field

I have seen the sun break through
to illuminate a small field
for a while, and gone my way
and forgotten it. But that was the
pearl of great price, the one field that had
treasure in it. I realise* now
that I must give all that I have
to possess it. Life is not hurrying

on to a receding future, nor hankering after
an imagined past. It is the turning
aside like Moses to the miracle
of the lit bush, to a brightness
that seemed as transitory as your youth
once, but is the eternity that awaits you.

-  R.S. Thomas

*realize the way the English spell it, with an "s"

keeping warm

 Snow was predicted last night and all day today, and by morning light, everything looked fresh. Then around eight, visibility dropped and the wind was blowing it all around - I wondered if they'd be wrong again about the amounts, but it must have been a squall; it settled back into a light snow and ended mid-afternoon. But it's cold, and windy.

We throw out timothy hay, cracked corn, carrots, peanuts. The mourning doves seemed to like the corn this afternoon. 

I'd bought two large plastic bins for organizing the Christmas things, and today I can say it's done - everything is sensibly arranged in the bins and a couple of shoe boxes. Much better than it was, and I feel light as a feather! I'm surprised at how relieved I feel to have that done. By using the bins, I got a lot out of the closet, consolidated a few smaller boxes, and things that I like to group together are stored together - like it should have been all along!

Daisy sitting under the corner cabinet to warm up near the heaters

Peter Wohlleben, who wrote The Hidden Life of Trees, also has written The Inner Life of Animals; I just finished it. I liked some parts better than others, but many things were interesting. Here, he explains why moths fly around lights:

"Moths... rely on the moon when they want to fly in a straight line. For example, when the moon is at its height and they want to fly west, all they have to do is keep the moon to their left. But little moths can't tell the difference between the moon and a cozy lamp adding a decorative touch to a garden at night. Now, as the tiny winged wanderer glides past the tulips and the roses, it immediately gets turned around. The brightest light at night must be the moon, mustn't it? And so it tries to keep this new moon to its left, but the lamp is unfortunately not 238,900 miles but only a few yards away. If the moth keeps flying in a straight line, the "moon" appears behind it, and it seems to the moth that it must have flown in a circle. And so the insect pilot corrects its course to the left to, as it thinks, continue flying straight ahead. This makes the "moon" appear on the correct side, but what's really happening is that the moth is flying in circles around the light. The spiraling flight takes the moth ever closer to the light until it finally end up at the center. If the artificial moon is a candle, there's a brief "puff", and the moth's life is snuffed out."

hanging on

 Well, the storm is hanging on; they changed the snow's end time to eleven. So, it's still going. Inside, I am hanging on to my wintry placemats. I was about to put them away, but, in view of the weather....... well, they are nice and cheery,

Meanwhile, there's some talk of another snowfall next weekend, and I even saw the word "blizzard" mentioned.

frost and cold

 

O ye frost and cold, bless the Lord;
praise and exalt him above all forever.

O ye ice and snow, bless the Lord;
praise and exalt him above all forever.

-  Daniel 3:69,70

big snow coming

 The thermometer outside my window says it's ten degrees, and it's going to get colder. It will be very cold for a few days, but that isn't the main event: the very big storm that's crossing the country will bring us a foot of snow, maybe a foot-and-a-half, tomorrow and Monday.

Tuesday evening I started to get that feeling of a cold coming on; it progressed, and I ended up missing a day of work. Today, I got caught up a little with some of the food that's been waiting in the fridge: I cooked a chicken for tomorrow's dinner, a meatloaf for the freezer, a small batch of granola and some energy bites for myself. 

The furnace has been going on all day. A foot of snow is not a huge amount - the hullabaloo is mainly over two things: the size of the storm, which is big enough to cover much of this large nation, and the ice that so many in the south will get. That will cause problems, if it hasn't already. I don't think we're going to get any.

I took so many pretty pictures of the last snowfall; I wonder how long it will take for my enthusiasm to wane, if it ends up a snowy winter?

evolution of a snowy day

 They predicted snow all day today, starting at five o'clock. Then they said it would snow 'til three. There was a forty-four percent chance of a dusting to one inch. A forty-two percent chance of one to three inches. The former, because it was the larger percentage, was highlighted. 

I woke up at seven, and the snow had already covered most of the ground, and was nestling in the bushes.

I was hoping the forty-two percent camp would prevail. 

Around mid-morning I saw a lighter sky, and got nervous; was the sun going to break through already? But it got grayer again.

Did you ever notice that snow gives everything a Currier and Ives sort of look? 

Anyway, like I said, it was supposed to stop by three, but before that it stepped up the pace and the flakes got bigger and started to stick to the trees. More than a dusting, I would say!

It improved the look of my garland on the fence.

It's rather sparse,

We went grocery shopping in the wonderland. 

What is it about winter evenings, before the dark, especially in the snow, with a light in a neighboring window to contrast with all the coolness?

Did I mention it was supposed to turn to rain at the end? It didn't.

birds and branches

 We're going to have snow Saturday. I'm looking forward to it, though it won't be much.

Today there was sun, and I slipped outside an hour before dark, for some change of air. I had seen a gardening youtuber talk about what wild rabbits like to eat in winter. Apple branches, mostly, but also pear and crabapple. So I went around to look at our trees, thinking about prunings I could leave for them now and then, especially when there's snow cover. I cut a couple of crabapple twigs and left them where I think they live. The tree is full of crabapples, and last year Clare mentioned that she had a better crop when she removed them herself, so, I think I'll do that. I can leave them on the ground for the creatures. 

We've had three of these tall arbor vitaes near the garden, and they' were so big; last year my brother said he'd have to take one or two down. Well, nature seems to have done it for him.

We realized a couple of weeks ago that two came down at some point. Roots and all, just up and out. I haven't pushed the upright one to see if it's going to be next. 

Sometimes my co-workers will say they saw a cardinal at their feeder, and they're all excited. We see them every day! Today I saw an unfamiliar bird out my bedroom window; he was with the sparrows and finches, and about the same small size. I got a good look at him via my camera zoom, and then took a little film.

Then I looked him up. He is a downy woodpecker, apparently very common in our state! But I've never seen one.

"In the woodland I manage, we use the birds' passion for collecting to plant young deciduous trees in the monocultures of old spruce plantations. This is how it works. We put seed trays on posts and fill them with acorns and beechnuts. Jays love to come and help themselves, and they distribute their booty in the soil hundreds of yards in every direction. It's a win-win situation. We get precious new stands of deciduous trees in the woodland, and the jays get huge quantities of winter provisions with very little effort."

                                          -  Peter Wohlleben, The Inner Life of Animals

I can picture this entirely! When the blue jays come to our feeder, they throw seed right and left. A jay must be a jay, must be a jay.

finishing up with the holidays

 Our snow has been gone for a while; the temperatures are in the forties - a January thaw, I guess. There may be a snowstorm brewing for Thursday, but it's too soon to know any of the "ifs": if the storm develops, if it comes our way or goes another. 

I sewed up two panels of red plaid fabric, lined, and clipped them up in the bathroom for curtains. 

I like the sort-of rustic air of plaid, and I hung this wooden ornament on the rod, between the panels. 

I heard mention of The 39 Steps, by John Buchan, on a podcast, so I got a copy of it. A short book, written in 1915, it kept me turning the pages. A man-on-the-run story, written in that very matter of fact style that was more common - well, I was going to say "back then", but I was thinking of the style of Raymond Chandler, and he came later. I mean that plain way of just describing everything without all the emotionalism which saturates the stories of our own day. It's rather refreshing for a change, and I'm going to try the next in the series, called Greenmantle. 

I've been putting away some of the more obviously Christmasy things, but it all takes time. I am in no rush to get rid of Christmas. In recent years, we've had our holiday party afterward, because it's easier to relax and take the time for it. So, I got together with my co-workers the other day and it was very nice. To see young men enjoying the company of older guys and vice versa - it was great. We have a good group.

a Happy New Year

 and a charming one, after snow throughout the night, and now everything looks clean and fresh.

And, my wish for everyone who comes here, whoever you are:

May God, the source and origin of all blessing,
grant you grace,
pour out his blessing in abundance,
and keep you safe from harm throughout the year.

-  Amen

May he give you integrity in the faith,
endurance in hope,
and perseverance in charity
with holy patience to the end.
 - Amen

May he order your days in his peace,
grant your prayers in this and in every place,
and lead you happily to eternal life.
- Amen

AND MAY THE BLESSING OF ALMIGHTY GOD
THE FATHER, THE SON, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT,
COME DOWN ON YOU AND REMAIN IN YOU 
FOR EVER.

- Amen*

*(from Magnificat, of course, from which I'm always quoting and which prints things better than I could say them.)

tiny pleasures, obscure delights

 Well, it was almost fifty today with lots of rain; the snow almost disappeared. Then suddenly, at nine tonight, the winds picked up and the temperature started dropping. Then, a sort of squall, with snow now covering the ground. It will be slippery tomorrow.

Meanwhile, it was so gloomy all day that I even had the window candles plugged in - there were lights all over the place. I love these kind of days at this time of year. 

"...What makes Christmas exciting.... rests on an ancient and admitted paradox. It rests upon the paradox that the power and center of the whole universe may be found in some seemingly small matter, that the stars in their courses may move like a moving wheel around the neglected outhouse of an inn."

- G.K. Chesterton

"The spirit of Christmas is a paradox precisely because its largeness is made manifest in the smallest of ways: in little kindnesses, tiny pleasures, and obscure delights among ordinary people in the simplest of circumstances."

- George Grant and Gregory Wilbur, from Christmas Spirit

this morning

on the fourth day of Christmas

 I'm enjoying the Christmas rest. We had snow again, on Friday, all night. It's been mostly cold, with a warm day every now and then to throw us off. But the roads were clear for our trip to Joanne's on Christmas Day. It will rain tomorrow and melt everything, and winter will have to start over again.

I got a surprise from England - dear Clare sent me chocolates! (They're almost gone, Clare - already.) 

There seems to be a cat coming to the shelter at night; my brother suspected it, and then I saw him cross the bridge and come through the back yard on Monday, an hour before dark. He jumped onto our back step and looked up at the back door window! I was looking out but, strangely, he didn't notice me - he  seemed to be looking at the curtain - he was being very cautious. He didn't want to be seen. So we're trying to use the front door after sunset, but I worked late on Tuesday and forgot - I heard a hurried scrambling and am afraid I scared him away. He seems to still be using the place, because the food gets eaten, but it may be he's coming later. Poor creature, to be so afraid of us! Where did he come from? 

For lo! the days are hastening on,
by prophet bards foretold,
When with the ever circling years
shall come the time foretold
When peace shall over all the earth
its ancient splendors fling,
And the whole world send back the song
which now the angels sing.

- Edmund Hamilton, It Came Upon the Midnight Clear

full of wonder

 They predicted snow all night, from ten to ten, and, we awoke to a blue morning.

So mysterious.   Another thing about snow is that it mutes the landscape, and then some things really stand out.

more blue

But for the most part, it gives everything a look of quiet drama.

See how the virgin waits for Him;
Mary in wonder waits for Him
Shake off your slumber; come all full of wonder.
Jesus is coming as the Prince of Peace.

snow, after all!

 Just a little.  

But it snowed again after the rain. 

I'll take it!

trying to bloom in the cold

 It's been more like mid-March: cold, and snow predicted three times this past week. Neighboring towns got it when we didn't - until today. And it never reached forty today. But I was also looking at my blogposts from five years ago, and we had some snow in April then, too! It's helpful to have a way to remember these things.

Of course, it's gone now. The pansies I bought at the supermarket are cheerfully keeping company near the daffodils, but even though they're hardy, when it's threatening snow or twenty-eight degree temperatures, I take them in for the night, high up and out of Daisy's reach.

But everything is wonderfully green.

Love's as fresh as spring,

Love is spring:

Bird-song in the air,

Cool smells in a wood,

Whispering, 'Dare! Dare!'

To sap, to blood,

Telling, 'ease, safety, rest,

are good, not best.'

-  C.S. Lewis, from The Word in the Wilderness

 I know what we're going to eat for dinner all week - Holy Week is upon us, and to have a plan is a relief.

as winter fades

It snowed while I was at work today; not much. 

And that's why I hadn't put away my boots.

repeats

 I cut out the front and back pieces for the skirt today; I have to think about the casing for the elastic - I'm not going to fold over the top, but make a separate piece for that. It's a very pretty polyester velvet with a large floral. I sewed the side seams and was walking by a print on my wall. I got it at Goodwill; it's a bowl of flowers, mostly shades of pale to deep rose pink. The background is rather neutral, even the leaves. I realized my fabric looked a lot like this painting.

sorry about the glare

It's not easy to photograph shiny things, I've noticed. Since this is poly, the sheen is almost like a panne velvet, but not quite. The actual color is warmer than this, a little. But very pretty, and would have been festive looking for the holidays, if I'd thought of it sooner. 

There will be no snowfall today - not a nor-easter, not even a dusting. I guess it's gone somewhere else. And since nothing's predicted for the weekend, I guess we can go to church on Sunday for a change! 

I roasted a chicken early in the day, but have no desire for any of it. I hope I'm not coming down with something - stuff has been going from one person to another at work, round and round, all winter. I just want to eat light.

There's a setting on my camera called silky monochrome, or something. It's pretty. 

Is it okay to post a thing on one's blog more than once? 

"It is a comforting thought that beautiful moments never die. One can collect them, store them away, and they are always at hand to bring forth again and appreciate. There are many of them, and all one needs is an awareness to have them."

                                               -    Gladys Taber

There! I don't mind repeating that!

nothing is wasted

 "Our difficulties, whatever they may be, can all be used. They are redemptive. Many, many saints experienced various degrees of mental and emotional suffering and anxiety, and their experience, painful as it was, had profoundly spiritual effects on themselves and others. The anxiety is true at the level of felt experience, but at a deeper level, at the level of spirit and faith, something quite different may be happening. Even in anxiety one can have a real sense of God's love and possess faith.

And it's important to recognize that feeling low, depressed, is an emotional state, not an action. This does not cut you off from God in any way. Those who suffer this affliction have not yielded to it, any more than one yields to a broken arm or leg. So it is never a question of yielding to a sinful action - that would be a far deeper wound - but rather a condition.

But this condition is not meaningless. Prayers to God for help and relief are real prayers and signs of an active faith, hope, and love. This recognition of our need of God, and learning to trust him, are very precious. In all these ways there can be real growth in the midst of, and in spite of, anxieties. Also, these experiences, painful as they are, often bring a deepening compassion for others. All of us have something to carry - whether physical or moral or spiritual - and, united to Christ, these become fruitful for ourselves and others."

                                                    -  Sister Mary David Totah, O.S.B. from Magnificat, February 2025

All emphases are mine. Sister Mary David Totah was an American who later became a Benedictine nun at Saint Cecilia's Abbey on the Isle of Wight. She died in 2017.