the deep down things

 I finished C.S. Lewis book. Toward the end, there was a section that seemed so dense and I decided that I didn't have to read every word, but then, looking at the last chapter I felt like reading it.

Jason Baxter speaks of nostalgia as a positive thing: "Lewis was nostalgic for the future." he says. "The old model was not wrong, strictly speaking, but a kind of deep, human subconscious desire for a world that, in some sense, we are meant to occupy, but not yet."

He says, "The experience of nostalgia is a feeling of beauty's remoteness, but only because it is so far in the future, rooted 'deep down things'.* It is hope. And the great thing about true hope, this nostalgia for the future, is that it has none of the irritability, fear, anxiety, and discouragement that flavors many of the words of those who describe the demise of Christendom in our day. We were denied the garden, and then we were exiled from the enchanted cosmos. Now we must own our modernity, But by doing so, we engage in an extraordinary ascesis of the senses. We must move forward and look beyond."

                                     - from The Medieval Mind of C.S. Lewis

*God's Grandeur

The world is charged with the grandeur of God.
It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;
It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil
Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod?
Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;
And all is smeared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;
And wears man's smudge and shares man's smell; the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.

And for all this, nature is never spent;
There lives the dearest freshness deep down things;
And though the last lights off the black West went
Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs -
Because the Holy Ghost over the bent
World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.

- Gerard Manley Hopkins

elf patterns

 I thought Daisy was asleep on my bed, when she suddenly got up and went to the window, obviously seeing something. I looked out - a rabbit. She actually heard a rabbit, eating grass (or whatever). Well, everyone knows rabbits make the earth shake. But really - she heard a rabbit hop in the lawn and eat grass. Amazing.

It rained and stormed yesterday evening, and I saw a rabbit sitting in the rain - they like it, I've noticed, and they like eating the wet grasses. And I like watching them. You knew that.

I'm sorry to say I've made no progress on my dress, as there's been other sewing to attend to. One of them is this pretty blouse.

It has a wide-ish neckline with elastic all around. It's fine when it's on, and it covers my narrow shoulders all right, but it makes me nervous, because if the neckline were to get caught, who knows what would happen? I thought if I made the area stable, it would be better.

I took a double strand of embroidery floss and stitched on the inside all around, into the folds, to inhibit the stretchiness.

You see how I did it, and it was just like basting stitches, but it really reduces any stretching, and the neck is wide enough that I can easily put it on and take it off. So I didn't really sew on the elastic, I just stitched the bunched folds together so they can't open out again. 

A friend gave me a Lenten Rose (hellebore) and I want to put it on the north side where I can see it from my window, but the stockade fence there is partly collapsed and we have to decide on if we'll change anything over there first. 

From the defining conversation between Tolkien and Lewis:

You look at trees, and call them 'trees', and probably you do not think twice about the word. You call a star a 'star' and think nothing more of it. But you must remember that these words, 'tree', 'star' were names given to these objects by people with very different views than yours. To you, a tree is simply a vegetable organism, a star simply a ball of inanimate matter moving along a mathematical course. But the first men to talk of 'trees' and 'stars' saw things very differently. To them, the world was alive with mythological beings. They saw these stars as living silver, bursting into flame in answer to the eternal music. They saw the sky as a jewelled tent, and the earth as the womb whence all living things have come. To them, the whole creation was myth-woven and elf-patterned.

                                                  - The Medieval Mind of C.S. Lewis, by Jason M. Baxter

the emphasis is mine

the whirlwind

 I was lying in bed, the sun had just come up, the birds were singing. Suddenly, a whirlwind - no, not the Holy Spirit, Pentecost isn't for another two weeks - came rushing down the hall, up onto the bed; it ran up the length of my body and down again, and out the bed onto the floor. I hardly knew what hit me. But, of course I did know.

You guessed it.

heliocentric

 "Through faith we must all learn a kind of Copernican revolution. Copernicus discovered that it was not the sun that went around the earth but that this earth along with the other planets revolved around the sun. We all begin by seeing ourselves as a tiny earth around which all the suns must turn. Faith teaches us to leave this error and to behave like brothers and sisters, joining together with all the others in the round dance of love around the one center that is God. Only if God exists, only if he becomes the center of my life, is this love my neighbor as myself possible. But if he exists, if he becomes my center, then it is also possible to reach this inward freedom of love."

                                                 -  Pope Benedict XVI

*emphases, mine

good morning

 A festive chirruping announces the day,

singing in the light of dawn.

Christ spurs on the soul,

inviting us to a rebirth, this day.

Arise from your beds, he urges,

where a feeble languor makes you inert.

Be watchful, chaste, good, and sober;

for I am close to you.

Let us invoke Jesus, aloud,

sorrowing, praying, repentant;

an ardent invocation

keeps a pure heart on the alert.

O Christ, drive away sleep,

break the chains of night,

make good the ancient fault,

bring to us new light.

summer for a day

 All of a sudden today, it was summer. When I stepped out this morning, I felt a balminess that surprised me. Annie wasn't much interested in her supper. I decided to wash a window.

she was there when I moved the bed back

The cherry in the front yard is a thing of glory, which is the only way to put it. Filled, absolutely filled with blossoms. I can't believe it, and I looked up what I said about it here last spring. It was struggling last year, but not now! 

I should not take photos at dusk - then I have to fiddle with them. It isn't purply, it's pink. Pink everywhere!

I don't know how to do it justice.

It was predicted to be in the seventies for the whole week, but you have to keep checking, because they change it. And so they did; it's going to be in the sixties - well, that's more normal. But now I feel warmed up. Things are different.

growing in the Paschal Mystery

 Almighty, ever-living God,
constantly accomplish the Paschal Mystery within us,
that those you were pleased to make new in Holy Baptism
may, under your protective care, bear much fruit
and come to the joys of life eternal.

afternoon delights

I used a different setting on my camera for this one

 My boss sent me a photo of a rabbit, seen in some shrubbery at the library. This is a big deal, because rabbits have been living in the bushes around the building, and they've all been ripped up. We were concerned - well, some of us were. But they are a hardy race, and it seems they just moved over a little.

I finished sewing my cleaning cloths, and now I shouldn't run out for any reason, for quite a while. And I've been shopping around online, looking at fabrics I might want to use for a dress lining. Maybe some broadcloth. 

"People talk a lot of ballyhoo about suffering improving you. I should say that what it does is to underline what you were before."

                        -      The Scent of Water, by Eliz. Goudge

The beauty in the world, making things fit, and life with Daisy

 "The old way of thinking about the world helped heal the 'tragic dilemma' of being human."

                                                 -  Jason M. Baxter

The cherry has begun to bloom.

I don't think any other tree blossoms are more beautiful.

Several years ago I did a repair on my bathrobe, replacing the bodice part which was worn. I traced the robe's upper part and made a pattern; I was so afraid of making it too small, that it ended up too roomy. I put up with it until now. 

It's got a dolman sleeve, with the seam going from the side neck edge, over the shoulder and down the arm. It needed taking in about an inch up there, so I just re-did the seam from the neck and then tapered it down to nothing by the time I went over the shoulder. It's just right now! 

I received the tracing paper a day late and was working, so I haven't gotten back to the dress. But I am beginning to think it would be much nicer looking if I lined it. I'm not sure I'll like the way it hangs if I don't do it. Bother. But before I put the green thread in the machine I want to make a few cleaning cloths that I like to use in the bathroom. Just seven inch squares of cotton, zigzagged around the edge. They work very well for cleaning in there.

Have you ever seen such a sight as this?

Double jointed is hardly the word to describe her. 

Anyway, before my brother came home for lunch, I heard things falling in his room; I looked, and there was an accordion file folder she had tipped over or something, and then dragged it to the doorway. I left it, so he'd see the full force of her exertions. I think he was suitably impressed. 

My "project" today was to make a special dinner just because it's my brother's name day. I was going to make chicken soup, and I did, but I had pinned a recipe for one of those vegetarian loaves, and I made on with mushrooms, brown rice, sun-dried tomatoes, kale and lots of other tasty stuff, but no cheese. I substituted different mushrooms, and kale for spinach, but recipes are just suggestions anyway. Very nice! And then I made a healthy dessert with ground up dates and assorted nuts, a kind of brownie. I didn't have pistachios, but I had cashews. I used what was around and it is good - I highly recommend it!

"The saints in heaven, as they are variously described in Paradiso, shine brighter than stars, move more swiftly than lightning, produce a more lovely harmony than the planets, glow like an unending sunrise, smile more radiantly than the sun, rush swifter than cold, mountain winds. Each saint outdoes, as it were, the entirety of the old celestial order. A saintly soul is a new creation, and the re-creation of a human being is as dramatic an event as God's creation of the first cosmos."

                      - Jason Baxter, talking about C.S. Lewis' admiration for Dante's Divine Comedy

            from The Medieval Mind of C.S. Lewis

remembering Dolly, and other Monday things

 We are back to seasonal temperatures, but it was so sunny today it really seemed much warmer - not sure if it was, but it did seem. 

I began transferring the pattern markings onto my dress pieces, but I soon realized that what I need is good old-fashioned tracing paper, the colored kind that you use with a tracing wheel. I have my wheels, but I had to order some paper. I was relieved they still make it because it's been ages since I bothered with any. It's coming tomorrow.

My brother was mowing and he found a little rabbit, dead, near the crabapple tree. He has no idea if he caused its demise; he's afraid maybe the mower surprised it and scared it to death, if it was perhaps in a depression under the grass? But would they make a nest so near the road? I don't know how smart they are. I remember when they made a nest in the backyard vegetable garden - that was genius! It's quite possible he had nothing to do with it, but he found a small box - it was a young one - and buried it across the brook where so many others are buried.

And that reminds me - it's Dolly's birthday. I was thinking about what made her so unusual. 

From the start, she saw herself as one of us, one of our tribe. She didn't connect with any of the other cats we had, but with us. I'm not suggesting she thought she was human, or that she didn't know she was a cat - she just knew she was one of us, she made an effort to be one of us, and we accepted that and treated her accordingly. 

She was photogenic. I took a lot of photos of Dolly.

She had a serenity which made it easier to take a picture. Although - she didn't like to look into the camera; she knew I was using her. But I got lots of photos because she wasn't always moving around.

She was pretty.

unusual, for her to look at the camera

Anyway, she won't be forgotten here, ever. 

quiet things

 Monday we went to the shore to visit a relative. I so enjoyed the ride; the trees are beginning to flower, forsythia is still brightly glowing and everyone is growing daffodils, it seems. It was delightful.

I had a quiet few days this weekend catching up on some painting in the bathroom. I also cut out fabric for a dress. 

I was searching online for a linen blend to make the Nepheline blouse, but couldn't settle on anything. Meanwhile, I've had this green for years, and decided to make a dress from it. It's been hanging around too long, and I think it'll suit this pattern.

The left version. The other is too short, but I did run into trouble while cutting. I knew I didn't have as much fabric as the envelope said I needed, but I still cut the first piece in the long version. I then came to my senses, knowing I'd run out before I was done, so I opened up the fabric, cut each one separately, and had just enough room for all - what a relief! I don't usually dig out my sleeveless dresses till July, and this fabric isn't exactly summery, being a medium weight and linen/rayon, so I may have to wear it before it gets hot - we'll see. I have to make it first. It was kind of what I was needing for the Nepheline blouse, but I didn't want to make it out of that, and it got me thinking I should use it, so I decided on this dress. 

making potato leek soup

"Lewis thought that chivalry, far from being... outdated, was urgent again. Chivalry was the very endeavor to hold the parts of the human being in tension... that is, to unite those parts of a human being that do not naturally sit well with one another: extreme courage and gentle civility. [Medieval chivalry] taught humility and forbearance to the great warrior because everyone knew by experience how much he usually needed that lesson. It demanded valor of the urbane and modest man because everyone knew that he was as likely as not to be a milksop."

                               

                               - The Medieval Mind of C.S. Lewis, by Jason M. Baxter

piles of grass

With more rain than usual, lawns are being mowed - my brother mowed ours yesterday.

Out my window, I see a neighbor mowed his

and left little piles of grass. Why does it make me think of Monet, and his rolled-up bales of hay? 

the journey

 "By baptism we are grafted onto Christ so as to form with him one single body - his Mystical Body. We are given life by his very Spirit. His divine sentiments enter into us in ever-increasing measure, in proportion as we strip ourselves of our own. That is how we receive the adoption of the sons of God"

                                                          -  Fr. Juan G. Arintero

"But we cannot think of life as a journey without accepting that it must involve change and growth."

                                                        -   Esther de Waal,  Seeking God: the Way of St. Benedict

spring beauties

A goldfinch at the feeder with forsythia in the background -

The plum tree in bloom with our neighbor's shed showing behind it -

Some wisdom in my reading -

"...if you understand people you're of use to them whether you can do anything tangible or not. Understanding is a creative act in a dimension we do not see."

                                        -  Elizabeth Goudge,   The Scent of Water

personality, and other things

My project today was to finally do my state income taxes. Now I can relax. I never intend to leave them till the end, but I keep putting household things first. A dumb idea, in certain circumstances. 

 Our weather this week has suddenly turned warmer, and the clothes in my closet are not entirely suitable for temperatures in the sixties and seventies. This has got me scrambling. I am also thinking about what I'd like to sew next. I like this Nepheline blouse. 

I was starting on the soup, sauteeing onion, etc., and I saw Leo outside, or maybe it was Leon - I have never seen them together, so am never sure. He was in the driveway; I tapped on the back door and he saw me. I went back to my cooking for a while, but Daisy somehow realized he was out there, and when I returned to the door, he was on the step.

He smelled the food, I'll bet. I put the chair there for Daisy to get a better view. 

He didn't stay very long - I hope he went home to Dianne. Some of her cats are true wanderers, wanting to be outside all the time. I was just about to say it was a little excitement for Daisy, but she doesn't really need anything like that for stimulation; she is submerged in cat madness lately. 

Can you guess what this is?

She started pulling down my bath towel the other day. She did it twice. But I have a solution.

I just need to unpin it before I get in the shower. I mean, to remember to unpin it.

I took this during the eclipse, in a quiet moment.

The Medieval Mind of C.S. Lewis is very interesting. The author, Jason Baxter, quotes Lewis:

"In all previous ages that I can think of the principal aim of rulers, except at rare and short intervals, was to keep their subjects quiet, to forestall or extinguish widespread excitement and persuade people to attend quietly to their several occupations. And on the whole their subjects agreed with them. They even prayed (in words that sound curiously old-fashioned) to be able to live "a peaceable life in all godliness and honesty" and "pass their time in rest and quietness." But now the organization of mass excitement seems to be almost the normal organ of political power. We live in an age of "appeal", "drives", and "campaigns." Our rulers have become like schoolmasters and are always demanding "keenness." And you notice that I am guilty of a slight archaism in calling them "rulers." "Leaders" is the modern word. I have suggested elsewhere that this is a deeply significant change of vocabulary. Our demand upon them has changed no less than theirs on us. For of a ruler one asks justice, incorruption, diligence, perhaps clemency; of a leader, dash, initiative, and (I suppose) what people call "magnetism" or "personality." 

earthquakes in various places

 A co-worker yesterday said to me, Did you know there was an earthquake in New York this morning? No, I was pretty busy at the main desk, handing out eclipse glasses. But those who were upstairs at the library felt it. 

California often has quakes, and when there's a northern Cal earthquake, I think of Gretchen, but she never mentions it. Is that because she's so used to them? But, it's not a pleasant thing to think about.

woodchuck in the neighbor's yard today

The water company emailed to say they would flush out the mains today between eight and four thirty. I got up early to wash the dishes and run laundry through the washer beforehand. I was home all day, and kept checking the water - it never happened. I never saw them up the street at the hydrant, and the water was fine all day (although I avoided using it, I still checked it). 

Jackson Galaxy put up a video the other day about the ingredients in canned cat food. Afterward I went and looked through the cupboard. He said carageenan is linked to cancer in cats, two ingredients with phosphate is a bad sign, or a phosphate too high on the ingredient list. Also, starches of course, like potato, pea, corn, etc.. I was surprised to see a few questionable cans in our stash. So, I threw out some of them, but the reality is, like us, cats may like the flavors of these undesirables. I mean, how much junk food have we liked in our lives? So, it's good to be aware, and then to find the balance between something more healthy and something kitty likes to eat. 

sunset tonight

The desert and the parched land will exult;
the steppe will rejoice and bloom.
They will bloom with abundant flowers,
and rejoice with joyful song.

- from Isaiah, chapter 35

spring things

 I hemmed my skirt today,

and ironed it after I took these pictures. The dark brown and turquoise speak to me of spring. This is about the only thing I have which goes with the skirt, and tomorrow is about the only day I can wear it, because then it gets warmer - too warm for sweaters! 

We had a lot of rain the other day, and a wind advisory yesterday. But today there was snow! I went outside.

The backyard forsythia looks pretty good. I like the wild branches coming out the top. I was glad I wore the wellies instead of my snow boots; there is water everywhere, around the footprints.

Slush.

The hydrangea in water.

There's a bit of water in the basement, too.

I started reading The Medieval Mind of C.S. Lewis. The author feels that Lewis' deep knowledge of the Middle Ages so informed his entire life and way of thinking, that a book needed to be written about it. So far, so good. I also have Esther de Waal's Seeking God: the Way of St. Benedict. Benedictine monks take a vow of stability, which binds them to the place, the monastery, but really, to those who live within it. 

"The man or woman who voluntarily limits himself or herself to one building and a few acres of ground for the rest of life is saying that contentment and fulfillment do not consist in constant change, that true happiness cannot necessarily be found anywhere other than in this place and this time."

"The good order and stability of the community is the means: the end is that the individual may have space and time to enter into his or her personal dialogue with God."

                                                   -  Esther de Waal

fancy quiche

 

There are these young women online here and there who like to dress in Little Women attire, and who share their old-fashioned crafts and recipes. It's very interesting. They seem to want to embrace a home-centered and healthy way of doing things, or maybe they want to escape modernity for a while. But I've seen quite a few.

Anyway, I made a quiche recipe today from one of these sites, and it was very good - more work than the usual quiche I make, since I tend to use already cooked things like leftovers in mine, but it's a holiday and I enjoyed making it. I had most of the ingredients, and substituted another cheese for the one in the recipe. The big thing is, I made a butter pie crust according to her recipe.

I learned to make pie crusts in junior high school, I believe. That would mean I was just pre-teen. My mother never was good at it. Of course, they taught me to make it with Crisco, and that's what I got used to and what I did for years, until it became known it was unhealthy stuff. Then I switched to an oil crust.
Since then, I've not been able to crimp the edges, or do anything to pretty it up because oil crusts are soft - at least, the recipe I use is. 

Today I decided to make the butter crust, and it was just as easy as I remembered: I floured the counter and just rolled the thing out! No rolling it between sheets of waxed paper, and then gingerly peeling it off, hoping it won't tear. 

before crimping

Anyway, I should just start making butter or lard crusts from now on, unless I don't plan ahead - I keep butter in the freezer. 

Basically, for this quiche I cooked up a package of bacon, and mixed it with some sauteed onion and garlic, with thyme and oregano, nutmeg and pepper. That went onto the rolled out crust. Then, the asparagus: a half pound, which had been boiled till crisp-tender. Half of this got chopped and dumped into the pie crust. Then, one cup of cheese. I didn't have blue cheese, so I used half goat crumbles and half shredded cheddar, with some dry mustard to make up the loss of tang which blue cheese has.  The cheese, in the pie. Whisk up seven eggs with three quarter cup of heavy cream, and a pinch of salt, and pour over all.  Bake at 375 for 50-55 mins., and then lay the rest of the asparagus on top of the quiche, which was sliced lengthwise and bake another forty minutes or so. Enjoy!

no white poodles

 "May the children come and have tea with me? I'd like Edith to get accustomed to me and the house. Sunday?" 

"Yes," said Joanna. "Thank you very much. I wish there was something we could do for you."

"I want a cottage tabby cat," said Mary. "And I want it rather quickly to prevent Mrs. Hepplewhite persuading me into a white poodle."

From The Scent of Water, by Elizabeth Goudge

Happy Easter!

St. Peter and St. John running to the empty tomb

 For the past few years I've been able to go to the Holy Thursday mass, the Good Friday service and the Easter Vigil on Holy Saturday, and they are so beautiful and such a fitting end to the struggles of Lent. 

Today was beautiful and sunny after a cloudy beginning, and gradually rose up into the fifties. We had a late breakfast around noon, since that was the only time we could, and then I got started on the dinner, while hoping we'd have enough appetite for it. For a long time, I've had lamb chops on Easter, since we like them and Jesus assuredly ate lamb on Passover. No ham! :D  Anyway, we've been having lamb more often lately and I thought it really didn't matter what we had, as long as it was a special dinner. I started collecting ideas on Pinterest but then thanks to Libby, I was perusing the British Country Living (I feel like I mention that magazine a lot here), and in the March issue was a recipe for a chicken dish with lots of tarragon, cream and some white wine. That caught my attention, and I decided to make it. 

There was a problem, though. It wanted you to spatchcock the chicken and I'd never done it. I didn't want to try. But I was afraid it would mess up the cooking time, and maybe delay the dinner, or even cause the sauce to dry up because I'd be cooking it longer. Then I thought of just getting a cut-up chicken - it should cook at a similar rate. Well, it was such a delicious recipe, that if you have that magazine, I urge you to try it, and especially if you want to impress someone with little effort, try it.

I was supposed to salt it well and leave on the counter for an hour, but I forgot that part until it was time to get going. And I skipped the salting because it was an Empire kosher chicken and I think they soak them in a salt brine first - we bought one many years ago and I didn't season it at all and it was very nice just plain. So, I skipped that part. Then, you lay the pieces on nine cloves of garlic and run the meat all over with plenty of olive oil, and roast at 465 F for half an hour, at which time it should be a little brown. Turn the heat down to 350 and take it out for a moment. Pour a glass of white wine all around the chicken and pour a mixture over it, consisting of 250 ml of heavy cream with a tablespoon of Dijon mustard, plenty of tarragon in it and some salt and pepper. Roast for forty minutes, or perhaps a little longer. (I don't like slimy chicken, and this was just past the slimy stage, but fine. Still, next time I'll leave it in longer.) Then let it rest with foil over for fifteen minutes. I can't tell you how delicious this tasted. I served it with some frozen green beans, but the very thin ones that are so lovely, with some sea salt, butter and herbs de Provence, and some small, multi-colored tomatoes with Trader Joe's Green Goddess dressing, and I sure want to see if anyone online has a recipe for making that dressing. There were some wheat crackers on the side.

I am sure it could also be made with coconut milk if you don't want dairy. 

While I was working, windows were open and I realized a mocking bird was singing nearby. He was in our neighbors hedge near the road, working very hard on his concert. I appreciated it. 

This idea was in the same magazine as the recipe, I think. 

Later, at sunset, Daisy came running into my room to look intently out the window. I wondered what she saw. It was a rabbit, just sitting there, grooming himself. I told her it was the Easter Bunny.

Christ yesterday and today,
the beginning and the end,
 all time belongs to him and all the ages.

My favorite resurrection painting, I think.